Hello internet, for all you care, you can call me White on Rice, and I’m a rice queen.

Just so we’re all on the same page, a rice queen is a non-Asian gay man who’s into Asian guys.

More specifically, I’m a 28 [ohdeargod, I’m 31 now…] year old white guy living in Los Angeles, California.  I enjoy travel, Apple products, and Asian men.  I hate hypocrisy, applying sunscreen, and that last sheet on the paper towel roll that’s still glued to the tube, but you’re too lazy to go get a new roll so you scratch at it until you end up with enough little shreds to convince yourself that it’s enough to clean up that spill, but you secretly know it’s not and you’re just going to end up with a larger spill and a fist full of wet paper.

Why do I like men?  Why do I like Asian men?  Why don’t I just get the new roll of paper towels when I know it’ll take less time in the long-run?

I’m a writer, not a psychiatrist, so instead of wasting time and brain power questioning these things, I’m going to embrace them for what they are and share my thoughts, observations, and experiences with the world.

Welcome to Confessions of a Rice Queen.

28 Responses to About

  1. David Pham says:

    Who r u I’m curious.

  2. Huynh Nguyen says:

    I love your blog! People think I’m crazy at work for laughing so much! Keep at it Wok King!

  3. PQ Not By Choice says:


    I guess I am what you called a potato queen, though I am open to all races but somehow I am naturally attracted to White men. I dont know why, I wish I know why, it is the same question as why I am attracted to men.

    Well living in Asia, it is not a good place to date a white men (therefore I am still single)
    Sadly, I am not sure if this is a curse but I just dont think I can date within my own race. It is like asking me to date a woman.

  4. Tong Roy says:

    You have a really interesting blog…I am really curious why do u find Asian men attractive? I am a young Asian college student who happens to find the minority of Asian guys attractive. I have always been attracted to white guys and people tell me I am hating myself or that I am a racists. I would love to connect and talk to u more…thanks


  5. Timothy Wang says:

    Have you stopped blogging?

    • The answer is no, I have not stopped blogging (although the data may indicate differently).

      My next post will be coming within a week: Apology of a Rice Queen

      Thanks for reading, Timothy!

  6. Bill Herd says:

    Hi…just discovered your blog and enjoy it. I’ve been RQ since 5th grade when the new kid in class, from Indonesia, stole my heart. (Unfortunately he never stole, or even borrowed any other part of my anatomy). I only recently gave up the attempt to know why I am the way I am in regards to any of my sexual inclinations. Life is too short. I just try to be sure that though I have a strong aesthetic and sexual proclivity toward asian men, I always remember that any relationship I might develop is with a HUMAN BEING first…one who just happens to have physical traits I find attractive over others. Then Love…and Love well.
    Hope you’ll continue to share your thoughts.

    • Well said! Thanks for sharing.

    • Well said. Yeah you can be attracted to X, Y and Z but when you’re old and grey, I doubt that X, Y and Z will matter anymore and you’ll only be left with the moments you spent with the other person. Physical beauty may wane but intellectual and emotional beauty stays with us till the very end. Life is short, go for what you like.

  7. Josh says:

    Hello White on Rice,

    First and foremost, nice blog! Being 27 years old, you are to be considered a rare rice queen. Most rice queens I know are much much older than that…. twice your age, apparently. And that is what ticks me off.

    I feel offended and embarrassed when a 50 year old White guy looks at me at the bar from top to bottom (no pun intended), as if I am some sort of commodity. Even my friend finds it very amusing, for he is a bear that has an easier life to live. As he always jeers about my so-called ‘target market’, I do find it appalling to be stereotyped and be sort of doomed in this set-up… a 20-ish year old Asian guy having a 40-50 year old White partner. While most Asians embrace that sort of thing, primarily because of the partner’s wealth, status, and easier naturalisation processes (yes that is right, admit it), I do not, alongside many others I’ve seen. I once saw a Grindr profile of a young Asian guy, saying “no to old fluffy potatoes.” While that was rude, it was amusing at the same time.

    So there… as I know that you are just a writer and not a psychiatrist, I just want to have some insights regarding this phenomenon. Do White guys unknowingly change their preferences as they go older and become rice queens? Or was it innate in them ever since their young adult years?

    But so far, it has been a world of old fluffy potatoes in the cobbled streets of London.

    • Thanks Josh! I also enjoyed your blog. I think a lot of times people can feel like they are alone in their issues that arise because of their sexuality, but chances are someone’s been through it already. I think it can be both valuable and entertaining to hear about other people. Keep it up, and I will too!

      And FYI, next month I’ll have to update my age to the more dreadful 28!

  8. Dennis says:

    Hi Mr. Rice Queen,

    Have you ever seen the Tyra Banks episode where Jimmy Chen and his boyfriend discuss the complex issue of interracial gay dating — in an, albeit, one-dimensional way? Not to mention the equally one-sided response from an audience member.

    This is a link in case you’re interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmK1T23p1Xw

    Also, for your material, there are some documentaries on youtube regarding the phenomena of White-Asian dating in gay culture; they are quite dated, but an interesting reflection onto the history of our older and gay contemporaries.

    I’ve provided a link in case you’re interested in perusing them (the other video titled “Forbidden Fruit” or some such silliness which I can’t seem to find on youtube).

    • Josh says:

      Hi there… are there other documentaries that talk about this phenomenon? I would be glad to have a watch at them.


    • Thank you so much for sharing this! I’ve been writing some non-blog stuff for the past month(ssss) and I totally neglected awesome readers like you! That video is a great resource and definitely spurns some ideas for posts.

      Also, with regard to Jimmy Chen — I have seen that video and I do have some particularly strong opinions on it; however, because I know Jimmy personally I’ve not written about it to avoid a conflict of interest. Perhaps with a disclaimer of full disclosure I could do it fairly… Seriously, there is A LOT to talk about in that video! Haha!

  9. Anthony says:

    Thanks so much for this blog. I grew up in a rural, predominantly white fishing community on the East coast of Canada and the only ‘gaysian’ I ever knew of worked in a sushi restaurant in the nearest city (three hours away). Years later I moved to Toronto where the people of East- or South-East Asian extraction comprise a large number of faces on a packed subway car. In my years in the city my facility for finding an Asian in a crowd has been honed olympian status. Shortly after I met my first Toronto boyfriend (Cdn-born Filipino), I told a friend at home who instantly branded me a ‘rice queen.’ I was mortally offended, but wasn’t really sure why. I’ve spent years questioning why I felt guilty about my attraction to Asian men and, conversely, why that particular interracial combination is so stigmatized in the community at large.

    Your blog is brilliant. Please don’t ever stop publishing your rumination on this topic.

    • Josh says:

      Hiya Anthony! It is pleases you, may I just know how old you are? I am doing a field study with regard to this phenomenon… Well sort of. Living in London, you can imagine the mixture of diaspora here… Ive seen it… White-black, white-asian, black-asian, Latin-white….

      I, in a sense, can be called a potato queen, although i tend to shudder at the label. And throughout the months ive spent studying the nature of interracial relationships, i noticed that it’s more acceptable for an Asian to fancy a White guy rather than the other way around. Call it media exposure, call it stigma and conforming social stratum… Call it anyway you want.

      But the fact that White guys who can be as old as my dad fancying Asians who are half their ages seems being ostracised by both cultures alike. Yes some Asian men might like the idea of a fatherly figure who will take are of them, but some, Maybe more contemporary young Asian blokes want to have a share with Caucasians their age… A mutual give and take mayhaps.

      And it is not just the stereotypical passive-active nature that ticks people off. There can be a change in the way we see these kinds of relationship. I just know it. 😉

      Kind regards

  10. Anthony says:

    Hi Josh,
    The panoply of interracial relationships you see in London is diverse indeed! Here in Toronto the nature of interracial relationships is largely a binary of caucasian and ‘X’. The former usually being older than the latter. At the moment, I’m 32 though I moved here almost 7 years ago and the fellows I’ve dated are usually close to my own age (+/-) 2 years and, yes, there has been an equal amount of give and take in those relationships.
    I’ve questioned those critical of my relationships as to why interracial connections are so ‘offensive’ to their crude sensibilities, but there is seldom a reasonable response and most devolve into tired cultural stereotypes or an avowed ignorance of cultural differences and commonalities. Is it because there is such a fetishisation of the ‘exotic other’ that the Asian male is objectified rather than identified as a living breathing human like everyone else, or that they are seldom sexualised in popular media as are other racial minorities? I don’t mean to reduce it to a simple binary, but it illustrates my point.
    In any case, thank you for your response. It’s reassuring to know that there are others who contemplate the same inner tension.

  11. DannyBlitz says:

    Hi. Just wanted to stop by and thank you for just being an amazing writer. I have an Italian boyfriend so does that make me a Pasta Queen!? 🙁 I really don’t like to eat pasta, but he is an amazing cook! I hope to hear more from you. Take care

    – Dan H

  12. Kenny Ackerman says:

    Totally on board with you!
    Had this argument recently with some gay men:
    I think terms like — fetishism, racism, exoticism etc… — it’s too much work.
    What’s wrong with just acknowledging rice queens, or straight Caucasian men who prefer Asian women for that matter, as simply having good taste?
    It’s truly that simple.
    It’s a two-way street to feel victimized, especially if one allows themselves to feel good only if someone lusts after you.
    Love who you love. In the end, an individual is what you’ll find, not one whole group of people who you think you need to either please or criticize.
    Empowering Gay Asians with frivolity and sexual power… a friend’s recent comedic web series satirizing all this. http://www.marcochowmassage.com. Check it out!
    Keep ‘writing for rice’ RQ, love that you speak your mind.

  13. alfred87 says:

    What an interesting website. I must admit, I am gaysian who is mostly into white guys but having lived in SF for almost a year and gone to several bars, I haven’t actually met a whole lot of white dudes who are into gaysians. Perhaps I am not looking in the right places? I am curious: where does one find these men?

  14. Chungkit says:

    This blog is HILAR!! Many actual lol moments. I stumbled upon it when I was trying to Google how this ridiculous stereotype got started of bad Asian Drivers… Still not too sure, but am accepting it’s because we have squinty eyes (how disappointingly unoriginal).

    Ironically, I am 36 and still don’t have a drivers license. I know what you’re thinking (racist), but it’s because I grew up in and am still living in NYC!

    Anyway, keep up the great writing. And kudos for embracing your ‘Rice-Queen’ness. Asian men are beautiful. Yes, I am a gay Asian man. Yes, I am attracted to other Asian men. And no, I am not strictly a Sticky Rice Queen (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

    A.J. a.k.a. Chungkit

  15. G. "Benzaiten" says:

    Fantastic! A fun read!

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